The desire

There is within me a desire to run with reckless abandon to the heart of God. To throw off everything that weighs on me and is "reasonable" and dive deeply, head on, fully immersed,  into the mystery, awe and (as Rich Mullens said) be caught in the "reckless raging fury called the love of God".

Then the phone rings...

Or my day begins...

*Sigh*

Occasionally I do get mini-trips to that place though. They are sacred, special times that usually come after a time of rest and prayer and quiet. Is it strange that I can't seem to risk reckless abandon when I'm exhausted? Life today is lived at such a crazed pace. It seems all we can do to get the top ten "must do's" off our list to rush home, cook supper, make sure homework gets done, clean the bathroom, laundry for the next day... Well, you get the idea. 

I  wonder, who would I be if I sat still? Would I really be brave enough to be "all in" with God? Is the thought of being fully immersed in God more attractive than the reality? Do I know anyone that's all in? Would anybody like me? Maybe I would just be too weird.

And yet, it is there, that desire within me to run with reckless abandon to the heart of God.

K