Off the mark

I've been a little off my mark all day today. It started when I checked the news this morning and read about the bombing in the Moscow airport. My heart sank and I felt such a deep sadness. Tucson, Moscow... so close together. So much pain, such a broken world.


I eventually made myself get some much needed paperwork done and began running errands. Errands. The dread of a day off. Each stop today someone had their own version of news to share with me. One person struggling with huge health issues, another with a financial crisis due to this weird economy.  Bad news, bad news, bad news. AARRRGGGHH!  The struggle is overwhelming some days. These weren't "drama" kinds of stories, they were the real muck and stuff of life. Our world is not an easy place to hang out.


When I finally got home I read these words;


We live in a world where loneliness has become one of the most painful human wounds. It is a place where there are no questions and therefore no answers...


and then;


Love will always have a fragile character. It cannot be regulated or sustained by structures, rules or commitments. It can only be sustained by continuing acts of love which are marked by gentleness, care, openness and trust.


both from Charles Ringma in Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen


Loneliness and love. I can't help but wonder how loneliness or a need to belong contributed to both recent tragedies. And of course, my next thought was; were acts of gentleness, care, openness and trust shown? Oh I pray so. The bigger question probably is; did I show them today? Was I available and present (so that I could connect) for each story shared or was I thinking of my long list of errands... I know I was not present in Moscow or Tucson, but I was physically present for each story today. Was I emotionally and spiritually there?  Each story I was told had the similar life changing implications in their lives. 


I want to be, my desire is to be, present... prayerful and connected. Why does it seem so difficult? Lord help me live your love. I seem to be off the mark.
K